November 2011
1 post
my uncle died on monday, and i feel bad that i don’t feel worse.
i mean, i feel bad for my grandma. first my dad dies, and then two years later my uncle. no woman ever expects to survive her children, and here she is, having beaten two of them.
i stayed home from work today. i don’t know if it’s because i’m sad i’m not sad, but i feel like crap.
oh, and i broke my...
July 2011
2 posts
June 2011
0 posts
January 2010
1 post
last night i dreamed that i was going to knit a sweater for my cousin—
of course, in my dream he was five instead of 19. and for some reason, i was having a problem finding enough yarn in the same dye lot to make it (i only needed two balls).
i have now woken up with a hankering to make baby sweaters. or baby something, with all of the left-over balls of yarn i have from my christmas knitting....
December 2009
1 post
i keep having the most random dreams. and the weirdest part? every time my dad shows up in one, i know almost immediately it’s a dream, and do nothing to change it.
i have had oddly strange dreams my whole life, but since my dad died in may, they have moved to a whole new level. my dad isn’t the first person i know to have died, but he’s the only one who seems to take a bit part...
November 2009
2 posts
turns out, this isn’t fun any more.
i have a shitty part time job. the only job i’ve been able to find in the six months from graduation is nine hours a week at a box craft store, stocking shelves.
i would really like to feel like a productive, contributing adult to this here society.
i think i’ll go knit some mittens.
“The problem with rereading “Catcher in the Rye” is I start to talk...”
– fourclover
August 2009
2 posts
I like lists. And it’s much easier to think in a list these days. So here. It’s exciting:
My brother just bought himself a new electric guitar and amp. I hope this means that he’s starting to get happy again. Also that he’ll finally take the rest of the musical crap lying around the house here home.
I’m still looking for a job. Sigh. I’m so ready to work.
...
I have the hiccups right now and it really sucks. Also sucky is that my macbook is semi-frozen while I rip family videos and that I’m pretty sure no one is listening to me anymore.
My own fault for sure, if anyone ever was listening to begin with.
July 2009
1 post
damnit. i stepped on a bee this morning. in the dining room. which is INDOORS. and there are no flowers about, so no good reason for a bee to be hanging out there. so, stepping on a bee=bee sting to the foot, and now it hurts. i’m so bitter.
just thought you all needed an update.
May 2009
2 posts
oh hai!
i bet you thought i forgot about this here tumblr… well guess what, i did!
pretty sure that if i didn’t own this here domain, this here tumblr would have slid down into obscurity. i bet you even forgot you subscribed to it. if you even subscribed to it.
i’ve pretty much let everything go. this here spot, my thought out blog, my im has been turned off for months, days...
February 2009
1 post
omg, what?
i can’t remember the last time i blogged anywhere, let alone tumblr in particular.
i can’t say that i’ve been writing. maybe only the tinyist bit of reading. more into throwing parties and seeing people, and playing games, and procrastination like there’s a million tomorrows.
classes have finally started. who takes physiology for an elective—meaning that the...
January 2009
1 post
i’m feeling very disconnected from the world right now.
with classes not in session, no job yet, and friends running in and out of town, i find my self “nesting” with e, not really wanting to do anything else but sit on the bed with him all day long, alternating between reading, sleeping, and cuddling.
i’m not usually this girl. you know the one: she ditches all her...
December 2008
6 posts
i have $11 left on an iTunes gift card.
joshawesome:
benjaminandhisblog:
joshawesome:
What should I get?
Reblog or IM me on AIM.
sn: joshanastasia
Andy Frasco’s album ‘Growth & Progress”
Oh wow, that’s some good shit. Thank you for suggesting him!
i’m pretty much thinking you need the game Dr. Awesome. I mean, the name alone is worth a dollar.
this almost makes up for being 168 miles from my favorite saturday night.
e: I think im going to head to bed now
me: alright
try not to miss me too much
e: If I don't go now i'll end up talking with you on here all night
me: very true
e: Night
me: night
it always makes my night when he pops up online randomly, usually before he heads out with his at-home crew. ten minutes of chatting with him makes the whole night worth it.
Dear tumblr,
joshawesome:
You know I love you but I’m taking the night off. I have plans with an awesome book. I will be on aim if you miss me and need some awesome in your life tonight.
With all my love,
Josh
P.S. I was just joking about the awesome in your life. You all are already awesome. For serious.
dear josh,
I can’t say that you are the awesome in my life, because it’s so full of...
i’ve been absent from the interwebs lately, and some might say it’s ‘cause of the ridiculously awesome boyfriend i seem to have aquired (after much hard work, i must say). and it’s not him.
so seriously not. because did i mention the ridiculusly awesome he posesses? because it’s like his own personal mission to make sure that i do everything i set out to do (am will...
November 2008
5 posts
today is not the day to get distracted.
watershed has to be at the printers tomorrow morning. i have a huge copyediting project that is only half way done if you’re very generous about what half is. and tonight i’m meeting e’s mom for the first time.
so instead of getting shit done, knocking items off the list of things that have to be done if i still want that A grade,...
Milestone #1
joshawesome:
Just a bit ago, my mom referred to me as “he”. This is coming from a person who went ballistic when I came out as transgender and hasn’t talked about it since that day five years ago.
My thoughts on it: holy fucking wow.
yay! always good when moms start to accept us for who we are, not who they want us to be.
i am falling apart.
not literally. not metaphorically. but at the seams, none the less.
my to-do lists give birth to to-do lists. on the calendar, in my journal, on my computer, written on post-it notes, scrap envelopes, and my hands—every where i look, there is another list vying for attention.
lists of homework. lists of deadlines that must be met. list of design mockups to produce. list of...
October 2008
7 posts
“Perhaps it is true that we do not really exist until there is someone there to...”
– Alain De Button, Essays in Love (via soiledteenagedgirlfriend)
i wish he wasn’t even half right
(via joshawesome)
need to stop thinking in terms of Hamlet. because i’m pretty sure this is why ophelia dies. oh. and i need this book.
Baltimore City Paper | When Books Could Change... →
“But although we do not now quarrel according to the moods and figures of Caranza...”
– Waverly, Chapter LVII — Sir Walter Scott
it seems unreal to be this ridiculously happy.
i’ve never been a girl who needed a boy to be happy, but omfg he makes me happy.
it doesn’t matter that i’m broke beyond belief, that my design work isn’t working, that i go to bed and wake up (alone and) exhausted.
i rock. i’m awesome. (and no i’m not full of myself). and he knows it. and he tells me it. and...
September 2008
10 posts
guy:
The String Quartet Tribute to Fall Out Boy -...
so looking forward to the party tonight.
it’s a throwback to highschool, reminicent of lan parties and late night taco bell and boys loving the geek in me.
that’s right, it’s a magic party—magic the gathering, that is.
e played a bit this summer, and tonight a few his friends are driving down from redding to draft with us all. i wonder if they know just how many girls...
i don’t know what’s wrong with me, but i keep procrastinating on really, really important things.
like, i dunno, a newsletter layout that has a deadline. my copyediting homework. a report on the geography of scotland. crap that needs to be done.
this senioritis thing is seriously bad. it’s only the fourth week of classes, and i’m ready to be done. and am putting off stuff...
joshawesome:
fall out boy - i don’t care
their...
i am not a normal girl.
after all, who tells the guy she likes—a guy who knows she likes him, and has told her they are just friends—”i would rather be brokenhearted over you than any other guy.”
oh that’s right. i did. because i’m crazy or something.
to be fair, we were drunk, which is always the best time for serious reflective conversations that neither of us would...
joshawesome:
Me: the fact that everyone I know refers to crush girl as crush girl makes me wonder if a) she talks about me with her friends and b) if she has some sort of nickname for me. Me: like douchebag Mandy: That’s what I call you to all my friends.
to be fair, i always refer to him as awesomejosh. there is no josh without the adjective. it doesn’t work that way in my world. i...
it finally happened.
my ex commented on my post about how things so didn’t go the way i had hoped with e. consoling me. telling me he’s there for me.
did you forget the part where i ripped out your heart and stomped on it a whole bunch of times before i tossed it out with the old tee shirts and books i decided i didn’t need to take to chico with me?
i’m thinking yes.
i...
Polite Dance Song: The Bird and The Bee
i love...
August 2008
20 posts
home.
long bus trip; decided i’d rather go tonight and get the trip over with instead of waiting around and staring at my ceiling for the rest of the night.
thank god for the iphone. and for a non-awkward im conversation to keep me entertained for the last hour of the trip. at least, it wasn’t awkward for me. i can’t speak for him.
good to be here, to see my dad out and about...
“Just friends for now.”
– [via the mythical E]
go ahead and bruise my heart, why don’t you.
July ‘08 Mixtape →
joshawesome:
This is late but most of my mixtapes usually are. I happen to consider this a pretty good mixtape, since I’m still able to listen to it two months after making it.
this is absolutely a fantastic mix. i listened to it all day today in between classes, and it made me feel upbeat and happy in the midst of a terribly long day of boringness that is the first day of school. i wish josh...
“There’s always a moment when you start to fall out of love, whether it’s with a...”
– Douglas Adams [via joshawesome]
so damn true. no wonder it’s making the tumblr rounds.